Are You Introverted, Shy, Anxious, or Passive? The Difference

Key Takeaways

• Introversion is about your energy. Shyness is fear of people’s judgement. Social anxiety is extreme shy. Passive is not speaking up for what you need, want, and believe.
• Overcoming social anxiety is liberating, overcoming shyness is joyful; overcoming passivity gives you control.
• You can be mellow, soft-spoken, and assertive like the Dalai Lama.
• Shy leaders may struggle to get buy In, inspire confidence in others, and protect their people.
• Introverted leaders can be exceptional like Warren Buffet, Albert Einstein, Gandhi, Elon Musk, Bill Gates, Rosa Parks.
• Passive leaders may struggle to protect others, give constructive feedback, maintain team morale, secure resources, earn respect, and get buy in.
• If people describe you as nice, people-pleaser, obedient, doormat, hesitant, shy, selfless, submissive, then you may act passively.

Social Anxiety X Shyness X Introversion X Passive Behavior

Do you know the difference between introvert, shyness, passive behavior, and social anxiety?

Many people confuse those terms and use them interchangeably. It took me a long to understand the difference. It is useful to understand what each one means so that you can focus on what you need the most.Do you know the difference between introvert, shyness, passive behavior, and social anxiety?

If you’ve ever wondered what the difference between all these terms that people often use interchangeably, here it is.

Introversion

Introversion is not a flaw. Introversion is inner power that ignites your flame. Introverts prefer to spend the weekend at home, reading a book, walking in nature, or watching a film. It is a personality trait of being quieter and more reserved.

It’s about where you get your energy. Introverted people get energy from time alone while extroverted people like social activities, parties, and to be the center of attention. Introverts can be shy or not.

There are many exceptional introverted leaders such as Bill Gates, Eleanor Roosevelt, Elon Musk, Warren Buffet, Mark Zucherberg, Mahatma Gandhi, and Albert Einstein.

Introversion is not a flaw. Introversion is inner power that ignites your flame.

Shyness

Shy people may look down when talking to others to avoid eye contact, they feel nervous and awkward in social events. They magnify their fear of negative judgement from others. Therefore, their focus is to not make any social mistakes rather than on being themselves or taking any risks.

Shy people feel anxious and will avoid some social situations that make them uncomfortable but are still able to have a functioning and happy life. Shyness is considered a normal personality trait, partly derived from your genes and partly derived from experiences in life.

It is possible to be a great shy leader, however it could limit your ability to be effective when you reach out outside of your immediate circle of connections in standard leadership roles.

Be soft spoken as long as you have a roaring voice inside.

Social Anxiety

People with social anxiety may not sign up for a class they’re really interested in because of the fear of other people’s judgement. They might not take a promotion because they can’t handle the attention in the meetings.

Social anxiety is an extreme version of shyness that affects people’s life because it causes people to withdraw from several situations. Social anxiety is not considered a normal personality trait. The fear of shame and humiliation is too big for them to handle.

Like shyness, it can be a lot more difficult to lead if you have social anxiety unless you don’t have to interact much with people outside of your team.

Passive Behavior

Passive behavior may be saying yes to a request when you really want to say no, not asking for a promotion even though you feel like you deserve it, not giving negative feedback to an employee, allowing others to make decisions on your behalf, avoiding conflict, feeling guilty when going against others, or trying hard to be what others expect of you.

People with passive behaviors don’t advocate for themselves and don’t express their needs, desires, and rights. They give away their power.

Passive behavior is often associated with people pleasing, being submissive, co-dependency, or even being “nice.” Many people who are shy are often passive, but not always.

People usually learn to be passive as a child, when parents and teachers reward obedient, compliant, and selfless behaviors, or when the child feels they must act that way to keep their family happy.

It was when I led teams that I realized the huge weight of my passivity on moving towards my vision. I was no longer just hurting myself. My overly cautious behavior affected my team. Passive leaders are usually caring however not effective. It is hard to take care of your team, secure resources, and protect the team’s interests in a world of assertive and aggressive people when you are afraid to speak up.

Leaders find the courage to speak up for their vision, their beliefs, and their people.

What Do You Need?

You can end social anxiety, be less shy, be more assertive, and even derive more energy from social interactions if you are intentional about it. That way you’ll end the feeling of being crippled socially, you’ll find your personal freedom, you’ll have more joy, you’ll feel more in control, and you’ll accelerate your career.

If you want to become the leader you are meant to be, you’ll need to learn how to be more assertive and to speak up for your vision, for your team, and for your following.

Ivna Curi is the founder of www.AssertiveWay.com, a training platform with the mission of empowering professionals to confidently speak up at work in a kind way. Visit www.AssertiveWay.com for free trainings, quiz, and newsletter.